#007 As a sort of contrast.

May 15, 2011

As a sort of contrast, there is for every good thing something bad. Is it a need for this world to produce some evil in revenge for the great things in life. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth? If this is one of the universes we live in, is this the universe where we learn right and wrong?

On this very moment my thoughts are recovering from air pollution. My brain is full of dust and my soul is broken. In one city I’ve seen the best and worst things of my life. But the worse are getting the overhand and broken the love for that city, Kathmandu.

After a 7 hour jeep ride from the border of India we finally saw Kathmandu in its valley with the beautiful Himalayan background. The multicolored houses on the waves of hills tied together with busy streets. Our hunger for culture was beyond everything before. As soon as we arrived in the centre of the town, we realized that is was dirty and dusty, busy and crowed. Every breath you take outside feels like you’re breading sand. Every step you take is another challenge not to get disturbed by hassles.

At first we really liked it. The best food ever and everything was really cheap. It’s easy to walk and the touts are easy to smile away. In a way it felt like home immediately. But, it began to go downwards when we walked to the river to see the water float down de city. The river turned out to be the biggest dumb you’ll ever see. Everything is just thrown in there and everybody is looking the other way, don’t caring about where it might go. It made me sick and sad. Sad because people just don’t know the consequences. They grow their vegetables on the polluted river banks and feed their children with it. Miles away from the city other people are washing themselves in that toxic water where death animals lay in.

It made me sick just because it was disgusting. And because of that it made me feel ashamed. Ashamed of how good my live in the Netherlands is. How angry I get if the garbage men are a day late. How easy I think of garbage, because at home my government knows what to do with it.

We stayed there for a few days. It wasn’t enough time, but we needed to escape. The thick brown layer of smog above the city was taking weeks of the end of our life’s. The shame was too great to see any men from Kathmandu in their eyes. I needed to run away from it. Still there is a dot in my heart to get me back there, in a few weeks.

–  I pollute my soul with shame and anger and clean it with love and desire.



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